I have mental problems. Caused by external factors, maybe. But I need to respond more healthily.

I don’t know why but I didn’t want to admit any shortcoming for years. Today, at the request of an advisor, I discussed my moods for the first time ever with a GP.

Maybe some of my emotional problems can be talked-through and solved with mere catharsis. Maybe some have external reasons.

But those external reasons don’t suddenly vanish. I’m bummed that I’m still not on a career path, 6 years after attaining a degree. Frankly, after finishing my degree, none of the work I’ve done has been intellectually stimulating at all.

That won’t change overnight. But I need to be able to deal with it despite that.

I should go to LoB and do fun things, even if I haven’t been perfect in my creative life.

I should go back to recording everything I do, minute by minute. Setting objectives each day, even if they’re fairly petty or just involve relaxation. It took an hour of my day away, probably, but it also meant I was more productive over the other 15 waking hours.

It’s one thing to be vaguely aware what your priorities are. It’s another to ensure that you don’t constantly fritter away your time on lower-priority things. It takes a concerted effort.

I will phone up the councilors again. I will phone up my GP next Thursday again.

I will start sorting my shit out.

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